Our church has a group called Mothers of Young Children. It's kind of the sequel to MOPS. Mom's of elementary age kids. Well these few months we have been reading together a book called "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel. It is probably the very best parenting book I have ever read. It's not the funniest, but very biblical and full of truth. Last night was the "Love" chapter. I came away with so much more than just truths for loving kids. It hit marriage AND kids. Double blessing for me.
The sentence that meant the most to me was "Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost." It was written from parent to child.
Love is the commitment of my will.....
I see this as doing the loving thing may not always be your first response. Saying no is sometimes the most loving and hardest thing you have to say to your kids. Or saying yes to your husband even though it's not YOUR desire, but respecting him is always the best choice, albeit hard.
to your needs and best interests......(I'm going to quote the book here)
Not MY best interests or needs. "Love sees our needs as a "B" priority compared to the best interests of the person we are called to love. It's not in our children's best interest to give them everything they want, to make life easy for them, to side with them when they are clearly wrong, or to circumvent consequences for their sins. Love is about meeting their actual needs, not their selfish needs." Is it ok to give them things they want occasionally? Of course! Do they think you're the meanest mom ever when you don't? yep! James and I have entered the stage of us being mean because we don't buy them whatever, AND we make them help around the house. We're so mean. I also need to remember that even when my husband is not lovable, it doesn't matter. That's not what I vowed to do. I don't love when it's easy and only then. Good times and bad. That's what I signed up for. I'm positive he has to remind himself that too.
Regardless of the cost.....
Love understands that loving someone is inconvenient and sometimes painful. Loving kids costs money, time and sleep. We sacrifice so much for our kids. Our own happiness is 2nd for sure. And we should all be ok with it. It's unconditional love. Same with the hubby. It's a sacrifice, sometimes of our own happiness. The cost seems much at times, but look to the future. The blessings from God, being with your best friend ALWAYS. Stick out the tough times. Enjoy the great times. Love your husband, and kids the way God loves you. Always. Unconditionally. Forgiving.